Post after post. Click after click. My heart dropped each time. Each blog, prettier and more inspiring than the last.
Conversation after conversation. Update after update. My ears perk up at the sound of my fellow classmates talking about grades and future plans. A bit of pride fills my heart when I hear that I had gotten a better grade. But it sinks when I hear their amazing and successful plans, ones that makes mine seem dull.
Prettier after prettier. Skinner after skinnier. I watch other girls walk around, thinking that if only I looked like her, life would be great. I would be popular too.
Comparison after comparison. Degradation after degradation.
These are real comparisons that I have made between me and other people. My whole life comparison had been a real thing, an encouraged thing.
Here are some real examples of comparison through the years.
Example 1: I remember being in third grade. I was an avid, and I mean avid reader. I loved loved loved to read. Every time we went to the school library, I remember being upset that we could *only* check out three books at most. At my elementary school we had these things called AR points, which was basically a point system that tracked our reading progresses. My obsession for reading only furthered when they put up a wall chart that sprawled through the hallway, showing how many points everyone in the school had. I had more than two-hundred while everyone else had less than fifty. I was prided in growing that number more and more.
Example 2: I remember being the tallest girl in school. I was in elementary school and I was the tallest girl in the class. At times I liked being tall. Most of the time however, I remember wishing that I was shorter. Teachers seem to like things to be nice and grouped, and boy was that apparent when they lined us up by height. I was always last, while the shortest kids were the “Line Leaders”. Trust me. That is a BIG deal when you are a kid.
Example 3: Most recently, I remember being in P.E. and having to do a running test. I hate P.E. because I have zero coordination and athletic ability. Anyway, we had to all line up on the line of the gym and run as fast as we could in order to beat the timer. Back and forth as many times that we could, as fast as we could. My lungs burned and I couldn’t run anymore. I felt ashamed as I had to admit defeat and continue to watch the others run at least 20 more laps. The comparison game was strong.
The comparison game was nourished early in my childhood and only continued to grow into a big huge crisis as I grew older.
Comparing myself to the people around me made me feel worse about myself. It always made me melancholy. Depressed. In the depths of despair. I put myself through this on a daily basis. If I wasn’t comparing at school, I compared at home or around town.
Comparing was destroying my identity. I tried to be just like everyone else. I tried to be like the girl everyone expected me to be. I tried to fit everyone’s expectations of me. I had multiple views of who I should be, and I didn’t know which one was right.
I wanted to be smarter like Riley. I wanted to be prettier like Halie. I wanted to be busier like Elizabeth. No, wait. I didn’t want to be too busy, because Chrissy was not that busy, but at the same time I want to look like I have a successful life! My views of who I should be were distorted. Everything was so jumbled. I didn’t know who to be because there were too many versions being thrown at me.
I may not have known but luckily for me, someone did. God did. While I was busy trying to figure out the mixed signals I was being sent, God was sending me His love.
Through His love and His Word we find that God thinks that comparison is ridiculous. God has a better design for us than prideful, self-absorbed, idols that we make ourselves. In order for us to be content, we need to swap the lies of comparison for God’s truths.
So here are more reasons as to why comparing is utterly ridiculous. Just in case you missed my last post with a pretty huge reason, click
Reasons Why the Comparison Game is Ridiculous
- We are Becoming Our Own Idols.
The devil leads us to believe that we have no worth unless we look like Jenny, have grades like Sam, or have a successful job like Leah. We compare ourselves to others to make us feel more prideful. Or we compare to feel sorry for ourselves.When we focus on comparisons, we are focusing on ourselves. Do you see the problem? We are putting ourselves before God. We are becoming our own idols. We are becoming the obsessions of our hearts.
“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” 1 John 2: 15-17
- We are Called to Be Like Christ.
When we compare ourselves to others, usually we want to have the qualities of those we compare ourselves to. No where in the Bible does it say that we are called to be like other humans, especially ones that we are jealous of. No way! We are called to be like Christ. So stop focusing on what others are like- focus on what Jesus is like!
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2
- God Made Me to be ME.
God formed you together when you were only just a little microscopic thing. He has known for a long long time just who He wants you to be. He knows how many hairs are on your head. He has a purpose set aside just for you. He has a perfect plan just for you. God is all about you. God has personally called you by name and said, “you are mine.” God loves you just the way you are, even when you sin. He made you to be just the way you are. You are you. You cannot be like the people you compare yourself to because you are not them. You are you.
“But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1
- We are Called to LOVE One Another.
When you love someone do you envy them? Are you jealous of them? Probably not. When we are envious of someone, speaking from personal experience, we usually start to develop an anger towards them. Or, maybe we become prideful and boastful when we think that we compare better. Either way, jealousy and pride cannot go hand in hand with love. They just can’t. Stop comparing and start loving instead, like God has called us to do!
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” John 15:12
- God Equips Who He Calls
A trend that I’ve noticed in comparison is that we usually compare ourselves to successful people who seem to have wisdom and are fully capable. You may not be ready to do what God has called you to do right now, but eventually God is going to make you grow. He will equip you with His knowledge that you will need to whatever you have been called to do. Don’t compare yourselves to someone who has already been equipped by God! Grow in Him and He will equip you!
“May he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever! Amen.” Hebrews 13:21
So there you have it; five more reasons why comparisons are ridiculous! Join me next week for Part 3 of the Comparison Series where I’ll be discussing how we can combat comparisons.
Until then, God Bless!
Again, just in case you missed Part 1 and Part 2, the links are below. ☺